Walking Around Paralyzed

The Second Tribute

In 2019, my brother had an accident that left him confined to a wheelchair.

Byayang had just graduated from the university with a degree in Economics and a burning desire to become an entrepreneur. He was brimming with potential and ambition.

Yet there he was, unable to move his legs. It was devastating.

Robbed of a promising future, many said.

Byayang didn't believe them. He could no longer do many of the things he had planned to do. But he couldn't just sit there and be miserable either.

So he made new plans. Full of audacity, he shared his plans with anyone who would listen. His brothers. His dad. His uncles. A random visitor. It didn't matter. We all felt his passion. And he succeeded.

A farm. A kilishi business. Public speaking. He even wrote a book.

Byayang in front of his newly built 5,000 capacity fish farm

Byayang is no longer with us, but this is one of the lessons I learned from him.

Some people are confined to a wheelchair, but many are walking around paralyzed.

As someone who overthinks every decision to the point of indecision, this lesson is especially powerful. I fear consequences so much that I end up doing nothing. I always wonder.

What if it goes wrong?

What's the worst that could happen?

The problem is that questions like these leave you paralyzed. You end up not even making a decision at all.

That's the thing with fear.

It tricks us into believing we can be safe from mistakes. That if we just wait until we're older and wiser, we will avoid making a mistake.

But fear doesn't save us from making mistakes. Nothing can. It only keeps us stuck in one spot.

Petrified.

There's a game to play, but I'm not interested because what if I lose?

There's a job to apply for, but I'm not interested because what if they reject me?

There's a business opportunity to take, but I'm not interested because what if it fails?

So I won't play games. I won't apply to any jobs. I won't do any business deals. Not because I'm unable or uninterested, but because I'm afraid.

Do you ever feel this way?

Am I the only one who feels paralyzed sometimes?

I'm learning that fear will rob me of a fulfilling life if I let it. That it's better to decide and face the consequences than to obsess only to end up making no decision at all.

I'm also learning that while mistakes teach me what to avoid next time, there's an even more powerful lesson.

Mistakes teach me that failing isn't the end of the world. That failure is only a step in the journey to success.

When the sting of failure is no longer the worst that can happen, I can be free to push myself to see what wonderful possibilities are on offer.

(L-R) Myself, Ebenezer, and Byayang during one of his physiotherapy sessions

I still miss Byayang, but this lesson I learned from him will always live with me.

The accident could only confine him to a wheelchair. It couldn't paralyze him. It would be a tragedy if I live my whole life walking around, yet paralyzed.

I can't let fear do that to me.