There's Always Something to Divide Us

But also something to unite us

“My child cannot marry from that tribe.”

That's what my friend's mother used to say. She would keep talking about how bad people from that tribe were.

This tribe, that state, those people.

Her mother had a full list of places she couldn't marry from. But then my friend moved abroad , and everything changed.

Now she would meet people from different countries.

Her mother no longer cared what tribe the man would be, only that he should be Nigerian. She suddenly remembered that we are one Nigeria.

Eventually, the net increased. Not only Nigerians were allowed.

“Please let him just be African.”

And after a while.

“Please let him be Christian.”

My friend's mother could not see anything good about some tribes until she was faced with the prospect of a white son in-law.

It's a funny story, but I learned some lessons from it.

Division is the way of man. We see it wherever we go. Black people vs white people. Football vs other sports. Muslims vs Christians.

The funny thing is that we're all just looking for a family to belong to.

None of us wants to be alone, no matter how much introverts insist. We all want and need people in our corner. So it's a bit ironic that for people who just need a family, we keep focusing on division and differences.

A Nigerian and a Ghanaian are rivals until a South African walks in the room. Then they become West African brothers.

Put an American in the room, suddenly it becomes three African brothers.

So we can see the good in others. We can find the commonality between us and anyone on earth provided there is one thing.

Someone we can hate together.

In a weird way, we are united by division.

Even within a nuclear family, it's parents vs children. Once parents aren't around, siblings turn on each other. And when left alone, husband and wife eventually have a go at each other.

So marriage counselors have to say things like it's not you vs your spouse, it's you and your spouse vs the problem.

A problem to unite them.

At the end of the day, we need division to achieve unity.

So maybe division is not such a bad thing, maybe it's our fixation with it that can get toxic. Maybe we just overdo it.

Division then becomes hatred.

But it doesn't have to be that way.

When I play football with my friends, we split into teams. We're divided, but it's not that deep. My opponent today could be my teammate tomorrow.

However, if I pick out a group of people and condemn them as being bad people just because we're divided, that's taking it a bit too far. And when I don't curtail that, I’ll eventually get to the point where I want to kill them.

I've always thought division is the problem, and I'm not alone.

John Lennon wrote a song called Imagine, and I like the Pentatonix version of it.

John Lennon called us to imagine a world where there's nothing to divide us. No heaven or hell. No religion. No possessions. Nothing to kill or die for.

He imagined a world where everyone just gets along all the time. He said…

Imagine there's no countries,

It isn't hard to do

Nothing to kill or die for,

And no religion too

Imagine all the people

Living life in peace

Not only is his dream impossible, it's bad for us. We need division. However, we must be careful that it doesn't spill over into hatred.

That's the problem. We overdo this division thing sometimes.

Donald Trump and Kamala Harris act like they hate each other, but if you put an Iranian in the room they become brother and sister.

So how should we approach division?

It's important to acknowledge the division, but imperative that we keep what unites in bigger focus.

Yes, I disagree with some of my friends on who is better between Messi and Ronaldo, but that's okay.

That's what makes football fun.

Maybe I don't exactly agree on spiritual matters with my Muslim friend, that's okay. At least we're both spiritual, right?

There will always be division, but it's never that deep.

You've heard of healthy competition, how about healthy division?

If our lives were on the line, we'd have a Christian pastor, a Muslim imam, and a gay atheist working together to find a solution.

In that moment, we don't have to agree. We have something that we can all unite against. Death.

In Game of Thrones, Jon Snow and Daenerys assembled one hell of a diverse army to fight the night king. Suddenly they all realized none of the divisions were that deep.

What prejudices do you have? What divisions are you part of? No matter what it is, division should never lead to hate.

It's never that deep.

I'll see you next time.